Throughout history, we've seen human life by the thousands, even millions, taken away just like that. Plagues have occurred throughout the ages, earthquakes have been responsible for the death of thousands at a time especially in Asian countries. The Dec. 26, 2004 tsunami wiped out several countries and claimed the lives of thousands as well. Telling our children that natural calamities and some illnesses are beyond our control often makes for an adequate explanation to the instant loss of many lives.

Then in the past century alone, there were two world wars, and several other wars of varying magnitudes. Terms like "holocaust," "genocide" and "ethnic cleansing" bring to mind some of what have taken place during the 1900s.

Then there are the bombings. For a time, I, myself, became used to the news of bombing incidents because my daily checking of email meant a daily scanning of headlines on the Yahoo News page. If you've been doing the same this year, you know what I mean -- for a period of time, not a day passed that there was no news of a bomb exploding in some part of the world and injuring (if not claiming) at least one human life.

With such demonstrations of hostility, explaining the invaluable nature of human life (especially to kids) becomes more complex. Not to mention, some kids may experience feelings of insecurity because of all the news about bombings and the whole matter of terrorism.

Here's something I got from Common Sense Media, which sends out a free weekly newsletter. It's about talking to kids about the recent London bombings:

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Parents need to help explain last week’s horrendous developments to their kids. Contrary to parents' fears, talking about violent acts will not increase a child's fear. Having children keep scared feelings to themselves is more damaging than open discussion. As with all media, what they see and what we say to them about it differs by the age of the child. But there are a few things every kid needs to know.

First, reassure your children that they are safe. Tell your kids that terrorism is designed to make people afraid out of proportion to the actual danger.

Keep the news away from kids under seven. Turn off the TV and radio news at the top of the hour and half hour. Read the newspaper out of range of young eyes that can be frightened by the pictures. Children of this age don’t need to see or hear about something that will only scare them silly. Should you choose to discuss the bombings with your kids, reassure them that they are safe first.

For kids 8-10, make sure they don’t see the news on the Internet. Many kids at this age are online now. Some of the pictures are simply grisly. Monitor where they are going and set your URLs to open to something other than the news.

For 11-13 year olds, try putting the explosions in historical context. Many of these children were too young to know much about 9/11 when it happened. You might want to point out that they have been safe all this time and they will continue to be safe.

posted by sunnyday at 5:06 PM

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An Inuit grandmother and grandchild sharing the warmth provided by their hooded clothing. "Inuit" is the proper term for those whom we usually refer to as "Eskimos," or the group of indigenous people who live in the Arctic, Alaska, Greenland, parts of Quebec in Canada, and Russia.


In many cultures, the older members of the society are regarded as the ones most deserving of reverence. They are held in high esteem and are turned to for guidance. Their advancement in years is acknowledged as among the sources of their wisdom as well as the reason for their being worthy of respect.

The passage of time and the evolution of norms have not changed the position of authority that elders occupy in many societies. Not even the opportunities and conveniences that technological advancement can provide have diminished the way old people are reverenced in these societies. These old people may be the the family lolo and lola, the university's Professors Emeritus, the loyal family butler, the tribal chiefs, the village elders, Gramps and Granny...they take on many names. But they all are advanced in years. And it is this which makes them all the more worthy of respect--not to mention, a "golden" source of learning. If only we listen to them more.



posted by sunnyday at 3:32 PM

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Kids say the funniest things...


Max, 4, is a thumb-sucker. His parents have been trying 
to get him to stop before he starts kindergarten.  One day his 
frustrated dad said, "Max stop sucking your thumb - that's for 
babies!"  Max, with a shocked look on his face, hid his thumb
behind his back and said, "Babies aren't going to suck my thumb!"

Kimberly, who is expecting a baby this summer, was showing her
5-year-old the video of her ultrasound. "That's a picture of the
baby that is inside Mommy's tummy," Kimberly said. "Right now?"
her 5-year-old said. "Yes," Kimberly replied.  "When will the
baby come out?" "When you're done with school."  "But what grade?"
her 5-year-old asked.

Tabby, the resident mother cat, had a litter of several kittens in
the shed.  They were sickly, and did not live very long.  One of
the kittens wandered into the driveway and died there. Sarah, 5,
and Ben, 4, found it, took it to the large trash box at the end
of the trailer and put the kitten in the box. Virginia overheard
Ben ask Sarah if they should pray for the kitten.  Sarah said yes
and prayed, "Dear God, this kitten was so small, I know you have
room for it in heaven.  Please take good care of it.  Amen."

Nancy was cleaning house. When her 4-year-old son wandered in to
see what she was doing, she asked him to see what shape his room
was in. He was gone for a few minutes and then came back to
report, "It's still square."

When my grandson was about 3 years old, his grandpa was lying on
the couch preparing to nap when Mike noticed the bald spot on top
of Grandpa's head. "Grandpa," he asked, "When I grow up, will I
have a hole in my hair like you do?"

Allen, 3, went to the grocery story with his dad.  All through the
grocery store Allen asked questions, every one starting with the
query "Daddy?"  Allen was very talkative and asked what seemed
like a million questions.  When they got to the check out, the
line was very long.  Allen continued with his questions, asking,
"Daddy?" to start each one.  This question and answer session was
entertainment for the other shoppers, who were bored with waiting. 
Finally, Frank, tired of answering yet another question, told
Allen not to call him "Daddy" again.  Allen sat very quietly for
a few moments. Then there was a quiet little, "Father?"

Max, 4, went to bed on a stormy night.  It was his first
experience with lightning.  About 15 minutes after his parents
put him to bed his mother could hear him crying.  She went into
his room and asked him what was wrong.  Very upset, Max replied,
"You've got to tell somebody to stop taking pictures!  I'm trying
to sleep!"

Loraine, who was planning a baby shower for her sister, had
talked about the plans and preparations for a couple of weeks.
They talked about the food, presents, decorations, etc. It was
going to be a great party! Loraine's 4-year-old started asking
questions about the party, such as, "Can I be there?" Loraine
said, "Sure." Then he said, "Mom, can I ask one more question...
How are all you girls going to fit in the shower together?"

posted by sunnyday at 11:29 PM

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A nurse escorted a tired, anxious young man to the bedside of an elderly man. “Your son is here,” she whispered to the patient. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. He was heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack and he dimly saw the young man standing outside the oxygen tent.

He reached out his hand and the young man tightly wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing a message of encouragement. The nurse brought a chair next to the bedside. All through the night the young man sat holding the old man’s hand, and offering gentle words of hope. The dying man said nothing as he held tightly to his son.

As dawn approached, the patient died. The young man placed on the bed the lifeless hand he had been holding, and then he went to notify the nurse.

While the nurse did what was necessary, the young man waited. When she had finished her task, the nurse began to say words of sympathy to the young man.

But he interrupted her. “Who was that man?” he asked.

The startled nurse replied, “I thought he was your father.”

“No, he was not my father,” he answered. “I never saw him before in my life.”

“Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?” asked the nurse.

He replied, “I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, I knew how much he needed me...”

posted by sunnyday at 12:44 AM

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End-of-life issues have been taking up more of the news lately. There seems to be a growing concern about eliminating the pain and discomfort that may come during the last days, weeks or months of a person's life. Well, nobody relishes seeing a loved one enduring any kind of suffering, and we all have the duty to do our part in alleviating suffering whether it is the kind an impoverished family experiences, or the sort that a seriously ill person goes through.

Dr. Ira Byock, who's had a wealth of experience in hospice care, shares the following on being more responsive to the needs of one who is on his final passage, as well as on empowering families who are accompanying such a person:

“Through my years as a hospice doctor, I have learned that dying does not have to be agonizing. Physical suffering can always be alleviated. People need not die alone: many times the calm, caring presence of another can soothe a dying person’s anguish. I think it is realistic to hope for a future in which nobody has to die alone and nobody has to die with his pain untreated. But comfort and companionship are not all there is. I have learned from my patients and their families a surprising truth about dying: this stage of life holds remarkable possibilities. Despite the arduous nature of the experience, when people are relatively comfortable and know that they are not going to be abandoned, they frequently find ways to strengthen bonds with people they love and to create profound meaning in their final passage.”

Dr. Ira Byock is a long time palliative care physician and advocate for improved end-of-life care. He is also a past president of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine, and provides written resources and referrals to organizations, web sites and books to empower persons with life threatening illness and their families to live fully.

Dr. Byock is Director of Palliative Medicine at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center and Professor of Anesthesiology and Community and Family Medicine at Dartmouth Medical School. Board certifications include Family Practice, Emergency Medicine (1988-1998) and Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Nationally, Dr. Byock directs the Promoting Excellence in End-of-Life Care national grant and technical assistance program of The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. He energetically advocates for improved access, quality of care and family support. His first book, Dying Well (Putnam/Riverside, 1997), has become a core reading on the subject. He has co-authored A Few Months to Live (Georgetown University Press, 2001) and co-edited Palliative and End-of-Life Pearls (Hanley & Belfus, 2002), a collection of clinical case studies. His latest book, The Four Things That Matter Most, is written for the general public and is published in 2004 by The Free Press, a division of Simon & Schuster.

For more resources on palliative care, you may check out

Life's End Institute.

posted by sunnyday at 12:02 AM

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