The girls who dress the most outrageously are often those most starved for adult male attention, first and foremost from their fathers. This happens most commonly with girls whose fathers have disappeared from their lives, perhaps following a divorce, or because their workaholic schedules leave them little time for their children. Children who are raised with attention and affection tend to identify with and admire their parents. This identification is the basis for both discipline and the transmission of values. Without it, parents can't do their job.

I often recommend that fathers be the parent to take the lead in setting limits on their daughters' dress, because opposite sex offspring typically cut that parent more slack. Fathers can say, "Honey, you can't wear that. I know teenage boys -- I was one!" A dad like this is looking out for his daughter and treating her as someone special.

You can stop right here and check out the piece at The Washington Post. Or, you can scroll down further for another, more forthright excerpt from the same article...

Another even bigger problem I see is indecision: Parents lack confidence in their instincts and in their judgment. Previous generations had no trouble making hard and fast rules. Parents in those days looked like and conducted themselves as adults and role models; kids and teenagers wanted to grow up and get the perks of adult life as soon as possible. Therapists see the inverse today. There are lots of parents who are uncomfortable with their grownup role and want to be young again; their kids don't want to grow up, or wish to postpone it as long as possible.

Nothing beats reading the whole article to see the entire context; besides, some popular culture tidbits from history put the author's assertions in the proper perspective. On a personal note, one thing I found quite succinct and which may help in talking to young people about appreciating modesty and love for oneself is this response to a query titled "Need help for my niece" at Modestly Yours --

Two summers ago I listened to Lisa Bevere's 4-disc talk, "Purity's Power." In it she says the following: "If you want a prince, you need to act like a princess." I absolutely love this, and I think it might help you. The main argument here is centered on what type of men do women want to attract? Ms. Bevere draws an analogy to gift wrapping. Obviously, when you have a very special gift to give, you wrap it up neatly, beautifully, and with care. Well, our bodies are special gifts not only given to us, but also someday to be given to a spouse. How do you want to "wrap" yourself? A woman, and all that she is both body and soul, is beautiful and precious. Dressing modestly both reflects and respects this beauty and value.

Finally, to go back to my original thought, every girl is a princess. But if she wants to attract a prince -- somebody who sees the laughter in her eyes, the smile on her face, and who listens to what she has to say -- she needs to act like the princess that she is, otherwise how can he find her?

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