I wonder how it must have been to instill discipline in children when there was no such thing as going online, when the TV was still unheard of, and when the different facets of life in general weren't so commercialized yet. Teaching sound values to one's kids must have been much easier during pre-MTV days; kids before the advent of the sexual revolution were -- I believe -- more docile to their parents' proddings.

I asked my mother once if there were already parenting seminars in the 1940s and 1950s; her response was an amused "no, we didn't have those things back then." I wonder if there were syndicated newspaper columns on parenting issues back then. When did experts start penning self-help books on the rudiments of successful family life anyway?

Well, the present day is a whole new ballgame. There is a great need for guidance, parents want to raise happy and healthy families (and they want to discuss the issues now), and authorities are sharing their expertise. Dr. Ray Guarendi is one such person -- a clinical psychologist, author, public speaker, radio host and a father of 10 (see one of his Q&A's here). Discipline that lasts a lifetime: The best gift you can give your kids (Servant Books, 2003) is one resource parents can turn to.

Dr. Guarendi also has a Parenting Tips page on his website. Here's a sample:

Dear Dr. Ray,
I know I must discipline my son, Brian. But when I do, I feel guilty, as If I'm doing something wrong. How do I fight parental guilt? ―Feeling bad

Some guilt is part of parenthood. It sure doesn't feel good, but at times it's understandable, maybe even deserved. Your temper ran rampant and you verbally blistered little Sylvester's personality instead of sticking to the issue that he didn't feed the cat. In a frenzy you denied John bathroom privileges for one month because he left his underwear on the towel rack again. After the heat simmers, you usually regret what you said or did and resolve to stay more rational next time. Periodically, this chain of events pulls along must of us. Kids have an uncanny knack for bringing out the childishness in parents.

There is another much more harmful brand of guilt that preys heavily upon parents today. This is the guilt that accompanies discipline―good, fair, loving discipline. It is guilt that wells up even as you are doing what is good for your youngster. It is guilt that is totally undeserved.

Read the rest at his website

posted by sunnyday at 10:38 PM

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