Or do you even still think about chivalry at all?

Here's something that link-hopping again led me to -- a light and insightful piece by Darryl James:

Chivalry: 1. Gallantry, courtesy and honor. 2. The noble qualities a knight was supposed to have, such as courage and a readiness to help the weak. 3. The demonstration of any of these qualities.

We often hear that chivalry is dying, or that the art is dead, but many of us have no idea why.

That's how the essay starts. Then check this out, a few paragraphs later:

None of us can be honest and discuss the death of chivalry without also discussing its diminishing at the hands of both men and women. Currently, women discuss how men are no longer chivalrous, while men discuss how women have been rejecting chivalry. Modern chivalry fit fairly well during a time before the current women's rights movement, when women began to reject traditional roles and behavior, including the roles and behavior required for garnering chivalrous behavior.

For example, feminism taught women that displays of chivalry were, in many ways demeaning and condescending. The new idea was that since men did not hold doors for each other, why would they do so for any other equal? The image of the chivalrous man protecting the weaker "damsel in distress" did not fit well with the evolving image of the woman as equal, strong and independent.

Frankly, I find the ideas in this piece thought-provoking and somewhat a breath of fresh air since the topic of chivalry, after all, hasn't found its way in mainstream print in recent years except for nonchalant declarations like "chivalry is dead." Also, reading a man's perspective on the matter makes for informative material.

I assert that chivalry was attacked because it was misinterpreted. Instead of viewing it as a mutual art, yesterday's feminists saw the deference to females as negative. The perception was that old-fashioned chivalry was showered on women who were weaker than men, which had to be rejected by women who were seeking equality. But chivalry was also about courtesy and respect, both given and received.

Men should still pursue courtesy and respect for womanhood. We need to teach young men how to be gentlemen, so that our real traditions can be passed on. Women who wish to receive chivalry today, must do two things: Stand ready to return the respect and courtesy, and communicate those desires properly.

The article includes a bit of historical information -- social norms among Africans and African-Americans (the author is African-American) -- so keep this in mind if you decide to check it out.

2 Comments:

 AsianSmiles said...

So true.
While virtues and characters that makes "man a man" were initially viewed as "done for women", maybe it's time to realize that "chivalry" IS a character that "makes" a man more appealing. In the same way that women improve their poise to "be" women, chivalry could be imbibed by men to "make" them "men". They don't need to be chivalrous (tama ba to) "for" women, maybe they should start doing it "for" themselves.

Who could 'genuinely' resist chivalrous men anyway?

(i cant find the right words & spelling - lols)

 sunnyday said...

Hmm. I know some men who display this chivalry toward women, and at the same time they treat other men with evident respect. Maybe that's what you mean -- being upstanding regardless of who they're dealing with. Actually, it's behaving in a way that is becoming of a human being (rather than an animal) -- that's the way I see it =)

This article delights me! I've always had a pet peeve for the effects of feminism, particularly what authentic women get because of these erroneous ideas of "equality". Many of us like being offered a seat in the MRT; a lot of us appreciate having doors held open for us. We don't interpret them as condescending at all. =)